He's now snorting cocaine off Brittney Murphy in that great Demolition University in the sky.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Gymkata (1985)
Anyone who calls the film industry "liberal" has apparently never seen any movie from the 1980s. At the height of the Reagan era, the United States' clandestine Cold War operations varied wildly from boxing the Soviets (Rocky IV"), to shooting explosive-tipped arrows at the Soviets (Rambo III), to dropping Sylvester Stallone in the middle of Moscow and seeing how many Reds he can punch in the face (not a real movie, but for the purposes of this review I will call this Redpuncher 3: Operation Punchdrop).
1985's Gymkata opted for a slightly different tactic. According to the American representative (who looks disturbingly like Texas Republic President Rick Perry), "direct military action is out of style." The preferred method is to train Olympic gymnast Jonathan Cabot (Kurt Thomas) in the deadly art of acrobatic-based martial arts, drop him into the fictitious Central Asian country of Parmistan where he competes in a deadly race through the barren, antiquated wasteland in order to assure placement of the US's Star Wars Strategic Defense Initiative on Parmistanian soil. You laugh, but this story is based on the very real Operation Elbowthrow (Google it), where the US government trained expert baton thrower Justine Brennemen in the deadly art of Muay Thai boxing and dropped her in the heart of Cuba so that her victory in a human cockfighting tournament would allow us to acquire Guantanamo Bay.
I shall defeat Communism with my flawless dismount.
1985's Gymkata opted for a slightly different tactic. According to the American representative (who looks disturbingly like Texas Republic President Rick Perry), "direct military action is out of style." The preferred method is to train Olympic gymnast Jonathan Cabot (Kurt Thomas) in the deadly art of acrobatic-based martial arts, drop him into the fictitious Central Asian country of Parmistan where he competes in a deadly race through the barren, antiquated wasteland in order to assure placement of the US's Star Wars Strategic Defense Initiative on Parmistanian soil. You laugh, but this story is based on the very real Operation Elbowthrow (Google it), where the US government trained expert baton thrower Justine Brennemen in the deadly art of Muay Thai boxing and dropped her in the heart of Cuba so that her victory in a human cockfighting tournament would allow us to acquire Guantanamo Bay.
I shall defeat Communism with my flawless dismount.
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