Our first foray into the pudgy ponytailed Judo master Steven Seagal, it’s one of his earliest films: Hard to Kill! Mason Storm is the greatest cop in the world, fantastic father, amazing lover, and extremely well hung. When he’s gunned down by the mob while having hot sex with his gorgeous wife, he’s in a coma for seven years and misses the transition of one (1) president.
|Kelly LeBrock's tearaway dress.|
He awakens in 1990 to find the mob still after him, and his British nurse (Kelly LeBrock) hitting on his unconscious body. See Steven Seagal snap necks, suck in his gut, and run like a little girl.
- Our reference to a better movie: Francis Ford Coppola's The Conversation, available streaming on Netflix.
- Steven Seagal runs like a girl.
- Imagine, if you will, Seagal at his middle school reunion. Snapped wrists everywhere. Blood all over the gymnasium.