Monday, April 21, 2014

Podcast: Another Pair of Aces: Three of a Kind (1991)


Pull up your cowboy boots and strap on your six-shooter, we’re going western this time around with Kris Kristofferson, Willie Nelson, Joan Severance, and Rip Torn in the nonsensically titled Another Pair of Aces: Three of a Kind.

Featuring the most degenerate picture tilting this side of the Rio Grande.
When Texas Ranger Rip Metcalf’s (played by Kristofferson, not Rip Torn) colleague and friend Captain Jack Parsons (who is played by Rip Torn) is accused of murder, it’s up to Rip 1 to clear his name. Noted gambler and character from the first movie Billy Roy “Ace” Rodriguez (Willie Nelson) joins him, along with the FBI agent Susan Davis (Joan Severance, who does not play a Rip, though she was in No Holds Barred which does have a character named Rip) as the token woman/love interest.

Friend and co-host Chris Dobson (left) uncannily resembles the swarthy scumbag murderer n the film (right).
Shot around Central Texas, APoA: TofK provides a great glimpse of early 90s Austin, a view covered in a cowboy hats, drab state government buildings, and not condos.

Some Notes:

Direct Download.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Podcast: Fateful Findings (2013)


Your Stupid Minds celebrates its FIFTIETH episode. In keeping with our status as a cutting edge resource for all things camp, cult, genre, b, and otherwise considered bad movies, we went on a special podcast field trip to the Alamo Drafthouse for a special midnight screening of the newest entry into the bad movie canon: Fateful Findings!


Las Vegas filmmaker Neil Breen brings us his supernatural hacker romance thriller. The protagonist (played by, who else, Neil Breen) gets into a car accident and unlocks supernatural hacking powers, which he uses to hack the most secret government and corporate secrets. This doesn’t sit well with his pill popping wife Emily, who slurs her displeasure in a heavy polish accent.

Some Notes:
  • Fateful Findings definitely resides on the Bad Movie Mount Rushmore, with Neil Breen’s face alongside Ed Wood, Tommy Wiseau, and James Nguyen. If someone with artistic skills could please illustrate this vision that would be great. With Wood as Washington, Wiseau as Jefferson, Nguyen as Roosevelt, and Breen as Lincoln.
  • Follow us on our new Twitter account, @YourStupidMinds!
  • I apologize to all the heavy Sony Vegas users out there who I may have insulted.
  • "A SUSPENSEFUL, HARD HITTING THRILLER FOR THE INTERNET AGE!" - Earwolf (forums user lizanddickfan1, most likely quoting the Fateful Findings press release)
  • Also forgot to mention, Your Stupid Minds is five years old yesterday. Peruse some old reviews and re-read your favorites!
Direct Download.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Podcast: Torque (2004)


Music video director Joseph Kahn directs Torque, a high octane action extravaganza starring Ice Cube, Adam Scott, Jaime Pressly, and Brad Pitt (lookalike Martin Henderson). Just in case you didn’t know this wasn’t from the early 2000s, Kahn is sure to add some Dane Cook, Kid Rock, crappy CGI, and Nickelback to top everything off.


Taking place in a presumably post-apocalyptic California run by biker gangs, our hero Ford returns after a mysterious trip to Thailand to retrieve some drugs he stole from an evil lip-smacking biker gang leader. The evil gang leader kills the brother of another gang leader (Ice Cube) and frames Ford for the murder. Everyone’s out to get him, and his only plan of action is to ride away really fast on a brightly-colored crotch rocket. Also two chicks duke it out in a motorcycle fight in front of some overt cola-related product placement.

Some info:
  • Just in case you've never seen this: Toy Boyz. "You're pretty fast... for someone who is a guy."
  • Trey (Ice Cube) is a calm and fair biker gang leader.
  • Torque settles the ongoing rivalry betwixt Pepsi and Mountain Dew. Who will rule the key 12-18 year old demographic (after Coca-Cola)?
  • Often considered a heavy proponent of post-classical editing (also called "MTV style"), Torque actually uses fewer cuts than its contemporaries. Despite being a satire of the Fast and Furious franchise, the most current iterations of F&F seem to emulate (whether intentionally or unintentionally) Torque's visual style.
  • We're approaching episode fifty! E-mail us if you have any requests, and be sure to like us on Facebook, rate and review on iTunes, and give us your feedback!

Direct Download.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Podcast: King Solomon's Mines (1985)


Alan Quatermain and Golan-Globus return to the podcast with 1985's King Solomon's Mines! Richard Chamberlin, Sharon Stone, and John Rhys-Davies star in this low-budget ripoff of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Alan Quatermain and Jesse Huston must traipse across the African continent to rescue her repeatedly beaten elderly father, who's been kidnapped by World War I era Germans (NOT Nazis) so he can divulge the whereabouts of King Solomon's mines.


Using planes, trains, and automobiles, they get to the mines through cannibal tribe, voyeuristic lions, monkey people, and crocodile pit. Where does this fit into the Indiana Jones canon? Is it better or worse than Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Only one way to find out!

Starring Bobby Moynihan as "Perverted German Guard #1."
Some notes:

Direct Download.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Podcast: D.E.B.S. (2004)


It's your favorite secret lesbian romcom spy movie, 2004's D.E.B.S.! About a foursome of teenage superspies recruited through the SAT and whose personalities are dictated by skirt length. D.E.B.S. looks like your run-of-the-mill pre-teen romp, but it may actually belong in the LGBT section of your local movie rental store which may or may not exist in your town.

Lucy Diamond (Fast & Furious's Jordana Brewser) is an infamous thief specializing in jewels and large sacks with dollar signs on them. After a disastrous blind date she meets Amy (Sara Foster), the winderkind of the D.E.B.S. and her mortal enemy. The two fall in love and Amy must weigh the expectations of her peers with the expectations of her heart. Also Michael Clarke Duncan is a hologram and Devon Aoki has an atrocious french accent.

Featuring special guests Valeah Beckwith and Danielle Nasr!

The full version is on YouTube for now, so check it out!

Some Notes:

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Podcast: Bailey's Billion$ (2005)


Your Stupid Minds makes its triumphant return to the "family" genre with another talking dog movie in the spirit of our Cool Dog episode: it's Bailey's Billion$! Jon Lovitz plays Bailey, a talking dog that only Theo Maxwell (Dean Cain, Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman) can understand.

Can Bailey help Theo set up a triple love connection between Bailey and another dog, Theo and beautiful animal rights advocate Marge Maggs (Laurie Holden, The Walking Dead), and creepy weird kid Max and Marge's daughter Sam? Or will the dastardly Caspar Pennington (Tim Curry, Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas) and his wife Dolores (Jennifer Tilly, American Strays) ruin everything by kidnapping and/or murdering everyone to get their hands on Bailey's fortune? Tune in to find out!

Notes:

  • The website is still up and is full of useful information: http://www.baileysbillions.com/ (you may have to update your flash player).
  • Director David Devine weighs in on the choice to be up front about filming in Canada: “It’s ludicrous and ridiculous that some artists don’t set the story in Canada—also that various film partners don’t back Canadian ideas with more money because there are many geniuses across the country who deserve to have their stories made. The single most important thing the Canadian film business needs is a HIT picture and I mean a commercially successful picture.”
  • Jennifer Tilly's wardrobe, particularly her hats, are outrageous and maybe not family-friendly.
  • Stephen Tobolowsky addresses the psychology of playing the villain in Beethoven's Big Break in episode 43 of his podcast the Tobolowski Files.
  • This movie features multiple scenes of a dog being chloroformed.


Direct download.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Podcast: Generation X (1996)



Travel back with us as we appreciate 25 things that only 90s kids will get: all of which take place in the movie Generation X! A mere four short years before Fox's breakout hit X-Men (nearly 300 million worldwide), came Generation X (0 dollars worldwide), the final Marvel film made by New World Pictures, the former owners of Marvel Comics and the studio that gave us the Punisher, Captain America, and the Fantastic Four (New World was bought out by 20th Century Fox in 1997). Unlike Fantastic Four, this film was released on television, where it was apparently pitched as a TV pilot. It was not picked up. Join us as we discuss mutant power levels, dream dimensions, and Jim Carrey's performance in Batman Forever.

The film is available entirely on YouTube:



Some notes:
  • An X-Men Arcade game is clearly visible in the background of a scene that takes place at an arcade.
  • 90% of all businesses in the 90s were arcades.
  • Learn more about the Get the Chinese Out of California Act. Also known as the Chinese Exclusion Act.
  • The actor that played Banshee is Canadian actor Jeremy Ratchford, who voiced Banshee in the X-Men cartoon. Despite Nick picking on his build, Ratchford was also on CBS's hit drama "Cold Case" for 7 years.
  • If you enjoy making fun of comic book movies, maybe you like a humorous blog that focuses on comic books? If so, check out Chris's sister blog The Pouch Files.