Podcast: Cop & ½ (1993)

Your Stupid Minds fulfills the Siskel and Ebert prophecy and reviews 1993's Cop & ½ (or Cop and a Half, if you prefer English). Starring Burt Reynolds, Norman D. Holden II, Ruby Dee, and Ray Sharkey. Directed by Henry Winkler.

Devon Butler (Golden) is an 8-year-old kid who's obsessed with being a cop. When he witnesses a mob execution, he negotiates the exchange of evidence for being a police officer for one day. The stupid chief assigns the babysitting role to the oldest and crankiest guy on the force: Nick McKenna (Reynolds).

The second act devotes its time mostly in search of a plot. Mob leader Vinnie Fountain (Sharkey) comes to Devon's home and forces the child into witness protection (i.e. Nick's disgusting apartment). Devon pulls over his jerk principal for speeding. A pair of homicidal teenage bullies menace an elementary school hoping to give Devon a swirly at a moment's notice. Nick has a bar fight with a street tough named Bobo. All standard stuff.

Eventually the movie settles on a child endangerment angle and Nick must rescue Devon from the mob. Is Nick up to the task? Will there be a boat chase? Was this worse than Carnosaur? You'll have to listen to find out!

Podcast: Dream a Little Dream 2 (1995)

We've done Corey Feldman. We've done Corey Haim. But we've never done one with both. We end that drought today with 1995's Dream a Little Dream 2, also starring Robyn Lively, Stacie Randall, and Robert Costanzo.

After the events of the first film, which is I guess a body swap picture involving transcendental meditation in Cleveland, Bobby Keller (Feldman) and Dinger Holfield (Haim) are living in Los Angeles with Dinger's previously unseen sister Rachel (Lively). The two are mailed two pairs of sunglasses, and after a surprisingly short investigation, Rachel determines these are magic sunglasses wherein the wearer of one does whatever the other wearer desires.

Instead of an extended second act of shenanigans involving the sunglasses, we are instead treated to a smattering of Lynchian dream sequences and noir-like intrigue involving femme fatale Lena Drago (Randall), who somehow is aware of the existence of the magic sunglasses and is doing everything in her power to get her hands on them. There is also a greasy hitman type guy also trying to get them.

Coleman Ettinger (not in this movie, but played by Jason Robards in the last one) is trying to warn the Coreys about the dangers ahead through their weird dreams. Dinger is arrested in the sunglasses shop, so it's up to Bobby and Rachel to unravel this plot. They run up and down the same hotel hallway for half an hour, and then attempt to break up the sale of the sunglasses to stereotypical mobster Mr. McVie (Costanzo, who played Harvey Bullock in Batman: TAS).

Can they stop the sale? Can Bobby overcome the power of the sunglasses and avoid shooting Rachel? Why was Haim mostly banished from the second half? Why is Corey Feldman a blues singer? You'll have to listen to find out!

Podcast: Hidden Strike (2023)

What do you get when you combine Jackie Chan, John Cena, Euron Greyjoy, six Chinese production companies, AND the 2013 winner of the China division championship of the Miss Bikini of the Universe pageant? Why 2023's Hidden Strike, of course!

Dragon Luo (Chan) is the legendary leader of a private security company tasked with rescuing the kidnapped Chinese workers of an oil refinery in Iraq. For whatever reason his estranged daughter Luo Mei (Ma Chunrui) is also there, but she hates him because, like Gunner, he was busy being cool in some far off conflict zone instead of bonding with her after her mother's death.

Meanwhile, ex-special forces soldier Chris Van Horne (Cena) is just kind of hanging around a Middle Eastern village entertaining children and feeling kinda bad about American military adventurism abroad. In an attempt to get water or something for the village, he teams up with some terrorists/mercenaries in this plot to kidnap the refinery workers.

After 40 solid minutes of deadly serious action intrigue and ripoffs of Mad Max: Fury Road set pieces, Cena and Chan finally meet up and remember that they're both funny. The film shifts wildly into an action buddy comedy and stays that way. We liked the second half way more than the first. Plus there are bloops at the end!

Podcast: R.I.P.D. 2: Rise of the Damned (2022)

Your Stupid Minds tackles a prequel no one’s ever heard of to a movie no one ever saw. It’s 2022’s R.I.P.D. 2: Rise of the Damned!

Roy Pulsipher (Jeffrey Donovan, replacing Jeff Bridges in the role) is a sheriff in 1870s Wyoming who’s about to wed his daughter Charlotte (Tilly Keeper) to her weenie fiancé Angus (Richard Fleeshman). But some ruffians try to rob the train station and Roy is shot and killed in the ruckus.

Roy is sent up to heaven to the Rest in Peace Department (R.I.P.D.) where he must help them fight deados and maintain the balance between heaven and hell. He’s sent back to earth with his partner Jeanne (Penelope Mitchell), a 15th century devout French woman warrior with a fear of fire (see if you can guess which historical figure she is). They fight the deados and Roy learns some things about understanding or something.

Podcast: Double Trouble (1992)

 

 Direct download.



The Barbarian Twins Peter and Paul David (from The Barbarians) return to the podcast. Instead of a Conan the Barbarian ripoff that showcases the fact they’re two buff twins, they’re now in a buddy cop comedy that showcases the fact they’re two buff twins.

Peter Jade (Peter Paul) and David Jade (David Paul) are two buff twins whose life paths have diverged. David is a cop in an LA Raiders children’s sweatshirt and mom jeans, while Peter is a slick suit-wearing cat burglar. Despite their estrangement, they apparently still coordinate on workout regimens and mullet hairstyles, but that’s another story.

When Peter steals diamonds and a secret key code for a diamond vault, all-around super-villain Philip Chamberlain (Roddy McDowell) is out for blood. To solve the case, the two brothers must team up and stop the heist before it comes to fruition. Also David Carradine is in one scene.

I couldn't find a trailer so here's the entire movie.

Some Notes:

• Story by groundbreaking auteur Kurt Wimmer (Equilibrium, Ultraviolet, One Tough Bastard).
• If you know the best way to flip an airplane without snapping the wings off please write a WikiHow entry for it.
• Fun Fact: The Raiders were in Los Angeles before moving to Oakland.
• Fun Fact: Satellite dishes used to be bigger.
• Star Trek's James Doohan appears as the sitting police chief in the film, both status-wise and literally.