Podcast: Catwoman (2004) LIVE!

Your Stupid Minds reviewed 2004’s Catwoman LIVE on the Exhibit Floor at Comicpalooza on Friday, May 26, 2023! Listen to us leave our respective metaphorical basements for the FIRST TIME to bring the bad movie gospel to the masses!

Patience Phillips (Halle Berry) is a mind-mannered artist and graphic designer at a major cosmetics company. The company has a new product, Beau-line, that reverses aging as long as you keep using it, but makes you hideously scarred like the Heath Ledger Joker if you stop. After being bullied by her boss George Hedare (Lambert Wilson) to deliver her updated ad designs to a spooky tube-laden makeup factory at midnight, she is killed and resurrected by divine CGI cats to become Catwoman!

Catwoman uses her new special powers for good, such as: beating up her neighbors for playing Hoobastank too loud, beating up some jewel thieves to steal the jewels themselves, basketball, and whipping. In her effort to bring her killers to justice, she runs afoul of the real power behind Beau-line, George’s wife Laurel (Sharon Stone). Catwoman is framed for murder, but will her new nice cop boyfriend Tom Lone (Benjamin Bratt, playing a lone wolf) believe her? You’ll have to listen to find out!

Some Notes:

• For the first time ever, one of our episodes can be marked "clean" in iTunes.

Podcast: Cat People (1982)

Direct download.

Next up in our mini-series of “80s Halloween Movies the Criterion Channel picked for us,” it’s Paul Schrader’s 1982 “remake,” of sorts, of the 1942 movie of the same name. It’s Cat People!

Orphan Irena (Nastassja Kinski) arrives in New Orleans to be reunited with her long-lost brother Paul (Malcolm McDowell), who is especially affectionate and nuzzly at her arrival. When he disappears for a few days, she finds herself drawn to a black leopard at the zoo. Meanwhile she’s falling in love with zookeeper Oliver (John Heard), who coaxed her out of a tree with some canned tuna or something.

Paul returns and continues to try to have sex with his sister. It turns out they both are descended from cat people. They can have sex with each other without consequences, but if they have sex with a person they turn into cats. The only way to turn back into a human is to kill a human. Paul does a very bad job of explaining this.

Will Irena embrace her cat people roots? Will she never love a human? Or will she give in to her desires and have sex with Oliver to bring out her inner cat? You’ll have to see for yourself. If it helps, there is a kickin’ David Bowie title theme song.