Podcast: I Am Rage (2023)

Your Stupid Minds comes at you with a movie recommended by Chris’s dad, the low budget UK adrenochrome-fueled revenge thriller I Am Rage (2023).

Erin (Hannaj Bang Bendz) is a young woman with PTSD who decides to go to the family estate of her new boyfriend Adam (Derek Nelson). His entire family is there, including Adam’s brother Michael (Luke Aquilina) and his new partner Sarah (Antonia Whillans). After a “dinner” of blood drinking, Erin and Sarah are drugged and blood is extracted from their adrenal glands, because this is apparently an ancestral adrenochrome farm where they kidnap people and draw their blood at their height of fear to extract the sweet sweet drug within.*

Erin quickly escapes using some sort of super power she has and goes on a rampage with Sarah by her side. Apparently, and this didn’t come up in her Bumble profile, Erin was trafficked as a child and held against her will for fifteen years. During that time she developed super adrenaline blood that allows her to roundhouse kick people and tear out their hearts with her bare hands.

They have a final showdown in a local paintball arena against the family and some rich big game hunter jerk WIlson (Niko Foster). Who will win? My money’s on the woman with super powers.

*Please note: Adrenochrome is a real thing but the conspiracy theories you may have heard about it are not. Hunter S. Thompson made a joke about it fifty years ago and now we’re all living with the consequences.

Podcast: Prey of the Jaguar (1996)

Your Stupid Minds covers a movie that may not exist, except in the deepest, darkest dollar bins of the seediest Walmarts of the world. It’s the David DeCoteau Punisher-lite tale Prey of the Jaguar (1996) starring Maxwell Caulfield, Stacy Keach, and Linda Blair.

Damien Bandera (Trevor Goddard, a.k.a. Kano in the original Mortal Kombat movie) is a drug kingpin who’s just been busted out of prison by his compatriots. Or is his name Banderas? He’s referred to as both in this movie.

Derek Leigh (Caulfield) is a regular 90s dad with a mustache who, for a 96 minute movie, spends a LOT of time in the first act with his loving pregnant wife and precocious son for them to not be fridged. His son Jeremy (Devon Michael) shows his dad the completely novel superhero he’s invented that has no ties to any existing intellectual property: The Jaguar!

Derek is visited by The Commander (Stacy Keach), his former boss at a secret espionage organization sporting a turtleneck, ponytail, and George H.W. Bush glasses. The Commander warns him that Bandera/Banderas, the guy he put away in an undercover operation, is out. Derek acknowledges his family may be in danger, and then goes to work. Bandera/s shows up where he works, shoots him, and throws him off a building. And mentions that he killed his entire family.

Three hours later, after he’s processed all of his grief, Derek decides to kit himself out and become a super karate vigilante named the Jaguar, fashioned after his son’s superhero. Will he fulfill his revenge? Was the Commander REALLY killed off screen in that car crash? Will there be a talking cat?! You’ll have to listen to find out.

I can't find a trailer, but you can watch it for free on Tubi.

Podcast: China O'Brien (1990)

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Your Stupid Minds finishes out the Cynthia Rothrock series with one of her most beloved films: China O’Brien! No, it isn’t the story an Asian Irish fusion restaurant with sesame fish and chips and black and white rice pudding. It’s a kick-ass karate film in the style of Road House and Walking Tall.

After city police officer China (Rothrock) is not punished for committing a justifiable homicide in self defense after an alley karate fight, she returns to her unnamed home town to pick up her decade-old high school relationship with Matt (Richard Norton) and visit her family. Her father is the town sheriff battling systemic corruption, prostitution, and crime. After he dies in a fiery car bomb explosion, China runs for sheriff and roundhouse kicks the corruption out of town.

Some Notes:

• Apparently the parade scene was shot at an actual parade, which would explain the shoddy footage better than we did.
• Directed by Robert Clouse, who also made Enter the Dragon, Game of Death, and Gymkata.
• China O'Brien II immediately followed the release of this film. We haven't seen it.

Podcast: Dangerously Close (1986)

Your Stupid Minds returns from a brief hiatus to provide yet another Cannon Group/Golan-Globus movie, this time riding the coattails of the sensational news story of the Legion of Doom vigilante group at R.L. Paschal High School in Fort Worth. Dangerously Close was the low-budget theatrical version released one week before the made-for-TV movie of the same subject, The Brotherhood of Justice, starring future heartthrobs Keanu Reeves, Kiefer Sutherland, Lori Loughlin, and Billy Zane. Dangerously Close stars no one, unless you count John Stockwell (future director of In the Blood), and Michelle Pfeiffer’s sister.


At a high school presumably in Southern California, a student organization called “The Sentinels” cleans up the school through education, regular hallway patrols, and targeting people they don’t like and pretending to murder them. When one of their victims ends up actually murdered, high school newspaper editor and goody-two-shoes Danny (J. Eddie Peck) investigates. When Danny’s pudgy annoying punk friend Krooger (Bradford Bancroft) goes missing, Danny decides to expose The Sentinels for the murderous terrorist organization it truly is.

Some Notes:

• Up until a few days ago, Dangerously Close was available in full on YouTube. It was recently removed for copyright reasons, presumably so the defunct Cannon Group can finally give it a DVD release. So as it stands now, I have no idea how to watch it, unless you want to peruse the VHS bins of your local video store.
• Vince McMahon storming into the World Wildlife Fund's offices.

Direct download.

Podcast: In the Blood (2014)

Your Stupid Minds reviews a poorly titled action thriller In the Blood, starring former MMA standout turned action movie heroine Gina Carano. Join us as we discuss the long-awaited return of Danny Trejo, after literally three episodes without an appearance.


Carano marries a bland, blonde, handsome son of a rich businessman (Treat Williams), and after he is kidnapped during a bizarrely intricate plot, she becomes the top suspect of island law enforcement led by Luis Guzmán. Will Gina find her husband and kill a bunch of dudes? Is her character a psychotic, Michael Myers style villain, or the hero of this movie? What is proper zipline safety procedures? Tune in and find out!

Some Notes:

• Is it a victory for feminism that this is a believable female-led action vehicle, without much of the chixploitation stuff? Notably, Gina never pretends to be a prostitute, never tricks anyone into having sex as a prelude to murder, and the most sexualized thing she does is basically a variation of the Boz's trick in One Tough Bastard.
• What would Ken Shamrock, noted MMA-guy and pro wrestler, be like as an actor in an action movie? A personality who never really "acts," a la Steve Austin, or a blank slate who punches people? The question keeps Chris up at night.
• Nick appreciates the support of our many neck-tattooed listeners.
• Not on Netflix or Hulu, but available for streaming on Starz.

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