Please note that you don't have to watch this if you don't have 15 minutes of your life to waste.
First of all, he's doing this backwards. His motto: "I remember it, so you don't have to," sets out his faulty mission statement in an easy to remember sound byte. His whole deal is mocking something you remember or at least know of but haven't seen in two decades. He makes jokes about how bad a movie is without really reviewing it, and the goal is apparently for you, the reader, to not watch the movie. That's stupid. We here at Your Stupid Minds want people to watch bad movies, to love bad movies, and to laugh at bad movies. But please don't post 15 minute videos of yourself mocking the bad movie while showing off your improv skills.
What really bugs me in a review like the one posted above might not be what you think. Yes, his jokes are bad, and despite like ten jokes about how gay He-Man is, most of his videocaptures really aren't any more homoerotic than Star Wars. It's not the incredibly lame attempt at political humor. It's not even that he has the name of the movie wrong and feels the need to explain that He-Man, in fact, had a cartoon. Seriously as much as I don't respect Ben Lyons, at least he doesn't give us FIFTEEN MINUTES of him driving home while he talks about movies he just saw.
No, what bugs me is how this guy feels like he has to be the star of the fucking show. Instead of laughing at the movie's shortcomings, we're supposed to laugh at this douchebag's capering? Why on earth does this guy feel the need to add sound effects, canned laughter, and pictures of John McCain for what's being called a "film review"?
Even more insufferable are all the other characters this guy plays: in "Bum Reviews," Doug plays Chester A. Bum, a loud, wig-wearing guy whose 'jokes' consist almost entirely of incredibly clichéd non-sequiturs. In "Ask That Guy," he plays an upper-class, loud guy whose 'jokes' consist almost entirely of clichéd non-sequiturs. There's a pattern here, but I can't quite grasp it.
I get that all of these creations are characters created by Doug Walker to give him some measure of celebrity on the Internet, but what bugs me is that he's done it at the expense of movies I like.
But even that would be forgivable if he was actually funny. But he just isn't. Try to sit through this. I dare you.
It's just painful to see him try to play a different character but then immediately fall back into his nostalgia critic voice, but without all the editing and gimmickry that attempts to hide his total inability to deliver a joke. This thing was only about six minutes but it felt like roughly infinity minutes because it was so goddamn awkward and flat-out bad. It was so bad even his private cheerleading squad recognized a misfire. Bad movies are the crutch this guy uses to hide his inability to entertain, and by making fun of them with himself as the feature attraction he's made a series of unwatchable, shitty reviews based on campy movies. Frankly, campy movies deserve better.
Don't get me wrong: making fun of bad movies is great. We all have fond memories of MST3K, but the robots and the human were in the audience, they weren't the goddamn stars.
To summarize: The Nostalgia Critic sucks. I'm glad there's a popular outlet for cheesy, campy, and otherwise bad movies, but I wish it was actually good. I'd settle for watchable.