Friday, March 13, 2015

Podcast: I Am Here.... Now (2009)

After a month of reviewing big budget sequels starring some of our favorite actors, we at Your Stupid Minds decided to scale back to a nice zero-budget drama written, directed, and starring one of our favorite auteurs. Yes, we return to Neil Breen, the writer/director/producer/star/visionary behind Fateful Findings, one of our favorite movies of last year (yes, we know it technically came out in 2013). This time, it’s I Am Here.... Now, a morality play about a godlike alien being as he hassles a handful of drug dealers and corrupt politicians as he decides whether the human race should be eradicated. He also befriends an old man with cancer and a young environmental activist/escort. Will Neil Breen and his weird robot body and zombie face kill us all? There’s only one way to find out!

Some Notes:
  • Every actress in this film appears to be wearing the same uniform: denim skirt, buttoned shirt with spaghetti straps, no bra.
  • Breen clearly forces his actors to stick to the script as written, forcing them to deliver lines like “Cancer-Chemo kicked my ass” without even a hint of irony.
  • When “The Being” first says he’s “disappointed in our species,” he appears to be looking at a skull and a spider on the ground. He clarifies, “the human species,” so I guess spiders are doing an okay job.
  • Every scene appears to take place between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m., making it impossible to tell how much time passes in this story. Is it a crazy weekend or months?
  • If you go to 36:22 as suggested, it begins at a pool with the topless "twins," followed by a shot of a clay lawn decoration, then back to the topless women.
  • The film is currently not available for sale, which is a shame, because we want to pay money for it.
Direct download.


  1. How did you guys know this is what I wanted? I had just watched this movie on Youtube with my friends.

    Yeah, it's not as fun as Fateful Findings, but I can't find that one online for the life of me. Episode was hilarious as usual though.

    Double Down also isn't as good, but there are enough ludicrous scenes that I'm sure you guys will enjoy it.

    1. Also! Maybe you guys were trying to avoid poop chat after how the Jurassic Park 2 review went down, but we freaking lost it at that stock footage of a dolphin taking a dump.

    2. We hope to get though the entire Breen oeuvre. He just announced his new film. And I totally missed the dump dolphin. I'll have to re-watch.