Podcast: Body Chemistry II: The Voice of a Stranger (1991)

Heyyyy, this is Your Stupid Minds saying howdy to all the girls out there in podcast-land. We have a special edition of Your Stupid Minds: After Dark. If you download this episode before your morning commute please wait until night! We present the direct-to-video sequel to the Roger Corman ripoff of Fatal Attraction. It’s Body Chemistry II: The Voice of a Stranger (1991).

Dan (Gregory Harrison) is a disgraced Los Angeles cop who somehow got kicked off the force for beating up too many women. He returns to his fictional home town of San Angelo (not the one in Texas; it appears to be a distant suburb of LA) and breaks into his dead (?) parents’ house to start anew. He rekindles a romance with his high school sweetheart Brenda (Robin Riker) and things are looking up except for his overwhelming violent urges to beat the crap out of her.

Meanwhile, Dr. Claire Archer (Lisa Pescia) has escaped justice after killing, or being responsible for the death of, the married man she aggressively seduced. When radio psychologist Dr. Edwards (John Landis) goes cuckoo on air, Archer replaced him with a sex psychology show. The station manager Big Chuck (Morton Downey Jr.) gets wind of Claire’s dark past through a slimy private investigator Larabee (Clint Howard) and uses her sex tape to blackmail her into a bad contract.

Dan calls into the radio show as “John” with his rough sex problem. Claire clocks him almost immediately despite his use of the Batman voice and begins an illicit affair with him, undergoing a “treatment” to rid him of his urges to commit violence against women. In reality she just wants to torment and humiliate him, ruining any chances he has with the angelic Brenda.

Can Dan escape the clutches of the succubus Claire? Can Claire negotiate a better contract? Where did Clint Howard go? Wait, was that Jeremy Piven as the patrolman? Where is his hair? You’ll have to listen to find out.

Podcast: Body of Evidence (1993)

Your Stupid Minds covers one of the most infamous erotic thrillers of all time, 1993's Body of Evidence, starring Madonna, Willem Dafoe, Joe Mantegna, Jürgen Prochnow, Frank Langella, Anne Archer, Julianne Moore, and more!

When millionaire Andrew Marsh (Michael Forest) is found dead in his sprawling mansion with a bunch of kinky sexy sex toys around him, everyone immediately suspects his kinky sexy sex girlfriend Rebecca Carlson (Madonna). She is arrested and sent to trial two hours later. Her lawyer, Frank Dulaney (Dafoe) has his work cut out for him to prove her innocence. Can he establish reasonable doubt against the prosecution’s argument that she sexed Marsh to death with a mysterious lethal drug known as "cocaine" in order to get his $8 million inheritance?

More importantly, can Frank resist her sexual advances and remain true to his wife (Moore)? Also how do you treat third degree burns from a gallon of candle wax dumped on your naked chest?

Podcast: Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

On this episode of Your Stupid Minds, Chris’s sister Sarah returns to the podcast because she’s got a stick in her craw regarding the surprise sleeper summer hit Where the Crawdads Sing. Based on the book of the same name by Delia Owens.

Kya (Daisy Edgar-Jones) is accused of the murder of the high school’s star quarterback Chase (Harris Dickinson) and tells her entire life story to defense attorney Tom Milton (David Strathairn). Her family, including her abusive father, abandoned her at their North Carolina swamp farm so she spent her childhood fending for herself.

A nice swamp boy Tate (Taylor John Smith) teaches her to read, and eventually she starts dating Chase. But the townsfolk only know her as “Swamp Girl,” the disgusting swamp creature who kind of resembles a normal little girl who sometimes doesn’t wear shoes.

Will she be found guilty? Did she do it? Why did Sarah get kicked out of her book club? Did author Delia Owens have anything to do with that poacher’s murder in the 90s? You’ll just have to listen to find out. We don’t have any answers for that last question, though.

Podcast: The Goldfinch (2019)

 

Direct download.

Your Stupid Minds continues its ad hoc Worst of 2019 series with a big budget adaptation of a book that was not nearly as best-selling as the book: The Goldfinch! Starring a bevy of hot young male actors with incredibly silly names.

Theo Decker (Oakes Fegley) is a boy who is a victim in a terrorist attack targeting New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art. His mother is killed in the blast and he goes to live with some WASP-y family friends. The matriarch Mrs. Barbour (Nicole Kidman) takes a liking to Theo, but he is whisked away by his deadbeat alcoholic gambling addicted dad Larry (Luke Wilson).

He moves outside Las Vegas and befriends an emo looking Ukrainian boy Boris (Finn Wolfhard). There is some time jumping to the present with Ansel Elgort as adult Theo. Something about a missing painting. A young homoerotic experience. A deadly yachting accident. An elaborate European art heist. Some other things too. It's really long.

Some Notes:

• Roger Deakins was the Director of Photography. So at least it looks nice!
• The film acts like The Goldfinch painting is the greatest thing ever created. Here is is. It's smaller than a piece of legal paper.
• Nicole Kidman looks fantastic.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009)

BL:PoCNO, apart from having the most cumbersome title of any movie I've reviewed for this site, also has the distinction of being maybe the best film I've reviewed here. This means it edges out Death Bed: The Bed that Eats and Kazaam. Despite its long and confusing name (which resulted in a lawsuit from another movie called Bad Lieutenant), and a long-awaiting re-uniting of Ghost Rider stars Nic Cage and Eva Mendes, BL is actually really good. It's surprisingly funny, consistently entertaining, and uses Nic Cage's trademark quiet/LOUD acting to full effect.

Not only is this woman not a suspect, she's not even a witness.