Podcast: Look Who's Talking Now (1993)

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Trigger Warning: Even though no children should ever listen to this podcast, there is a sequence where we talk at length and repeatedly about the 100% irrefutable fact that Santa Claus is not real. If you are an irresponsible parent whose children can listen to profanity-laced podcasts yet still hold onto the worldwide delusion as to the existence of a fat man who breaks into your house and gives you presents, you have been warned.

Your Stupid Minds covers the third and therefore best entry in the Look Who’s Talking franchise, Look Who’s Talking Now! Released and taking place three years since the last movie, James (John Travolta) and Mollie Ubriacco (Kirstie Alley) return to their iconic roles. This time Mikey (David Gallagher, a.k.a Simon From 7th Heaven) and Julie (Tabitha Lupien) are older and have their own voices, but guess who can talk? The dogs! And no other kinds of animals! Danny Devito and Diane Keaton come on as Rocks the mutt and Daphne the prissy poodle, respectively.

With Mollie recently out of a job and James getting a new high-flying gig with a sexy female boss (Lysette Anthony), will their marriage hold together? Considering James shows absolutely no interest in this wealthy British adulteress, yes! But also they get two new dogs and they can talk (to each other) and boy do they not get along until later when they do! Also a little girl schools Charles Barkley on the bball court during a dream sequence. Believe it or not this movie did not make much money.

Some Notes:

• Four to six weeks just to become hip? This is bogus.
• What in Santa's name is going on here?
• And sure, let's round out this all-YouTube list with this recut scene from 7th Heaven.

Podcast: How I Saved the President (1996)

Your Stupid Minds continues its series on "children's movies no one has ever seen involving talking/hyper intelligent pets" with the somewhat Wishbone ripoff How I Saved the President (or The Undercover Kid). Precocious kid Max Anderson (Bradley Pierce) is in a stifling home environment, which he copes with by talking to his cat Nellie (Victoria Jackson) and Jack Russell Terrier Bo (played by Robert Knepper and Barkley the Dog, respectively).

When a foreign-sounding German Shepherd at the park tips them off about a presidential assassination plot, Max must use his four-legged friends to stop the terrorists! But first he must convince his oppressive dad and clueless mom that the plot is afoot, and he can indeed talk to animals. Join Chris, Nick, and special guest Nico Mesa on this bizarre family romp through high-stakes international intrigue.



Some Notes:

• Per discussion, here are the hard and fast rules on which animals can talk.
• Dogs and Cats (canon): Yes. Unless they're super dumb or have experienced some sort of life-altering trauma.
• Crows (canon): Yes. But apparently if you call them smart they won't shut up.
• Raccoons (canon): Yes but they're jerks.
• Dolphins (non-canon): We assume.
• Horses (non-canon): Yes, but only if there is peanut butter on the roofs of their mouths. And they can count by stamping their hooves.
• Rats and Mice (non-canon): Maybe.
• Bats (non-canon): Yes, but only in the Batman voice.
• Chinchillas (non-canon): Yes (with an accent).
• Spiders (non-canon): Yes, but only to pigs.
• Some probably have noticed that Terrorist #1 is played by none other than Sven-Ole Thorsen, a.k.a. Secundus from Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe.
• Nico has a new podcast coming out soon called Whiskey Flicks, about movies and drinking. Keep on eye on the Facebook page for its release.

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Podcast: Air Bud: World Pup (2001)

In honor of World Cup fever, we review the most ludicrous, vaguely soccer themed movie we could find. Air Bud returns (without the original Buddy) for the third installment of the franchise: Air Bud: World Pup! Buddy and a kid who looks like Simon from 7th Heaven (Kevin Zegers) join the school’s new soccer team to impress their respective beaus: a fake British girl Emma (Brittany Paige Bouck), and her unspayed Golden Retriever. While Simon woos the girl with Natural Born Killers sunglasses and leather jackets, Buddy makes sundaes and shows up for nightly booty calls.

Meanwhile, a former dog catcher Snerbert (played by Martin Ferrero, the lawyer from Jurassic Park) stakes out Emma’s ridiculous mansion in an attempt to kidnap her dog for some reason. There’s also something about a dog playing soccer.

This episode features special guest and Chris’s sister Sarah Dobson, an expert in soccer, England, dog-ownership, and being a girl in the early 2000s.

Some notes:

• The Air Bud franchise was inspired by a real dog and amazing talent Buddy, who made frequent appearances on Letterman and played Comet on Full House. He was found as a stray by his owner in the Sierra Nevada mountains.
• Spay and neuter your pets.
• With the creepy "Simon watching British girl crabwalk" scene, we had some fun syncing up other music to accompany it. Some notable ones include: Taxi Dogger, Suspupia, The Exhowlcist, and Muttholland Drive.
• Air Bud: World Pup is available streaming on Netflix, streaming rent on Amazon, and on DVD proper.

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Podcast: Cool Dog (2010)

This is it. I'm not sure Chris and I can top this (but continue to listen just in case). Rarely do we encounter such a baffling, enraging movie that we devote FIFTY TWO MINUTES to discuss an 88 minute film. Despite our special double episode of the Your Stupid Minds podcast, we left some stuff out. We don't even address the insane dogcatcher who talks about farts!


A German Shepherd named Rainy (hereafter referred to as "Cool Dog") is abandoned by his family in New Orleans and makes a cross country trek to New York to reunite (by way of the Colorado Rockies).

Cool Dog has amazing cool dog abilities including but not limited to: piano, harmonica, banjo, child-saving, driving, grand theft auto, currency exchange, tennis ball shooter operation, phantom opposable thumbs, understanding the English language, and Messiah-like resurrection. We're almost positive Cool Dog the movie is actually Cool Dog's Twizzler induced feverdream.




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