Friday, February 11, 2022

Podcast: Artemis Fowl (2020)

Direct download.

Your Stupid Minds returns to its alternating YA theme with a book adaptation that Miramax and Disney had big hopes for, and then was dumped on Disney+ in the middle of the pandemic without so much as a $20 premium to watch it. It's 2020's Artemis Fowl, directed by Sir Kenneth Branagh.

Artemis Fowl II (Ferdia Shaw) is a super smart smarmy super genius whose mom is dead and dad (Artemis Fowl I, played by Colin Farrell) keeps leaving for long stretches of time for strange and sexy adventures. But one of dad's adventures puts him in hot water with a mysterious fairy (who looks like Ronan the Accuser) who kidnaps the dad and demands Artemis II give them the Aculos, an egg-shaped MacGuffin that has a bunch of power and stuff. Can Artemis save his dad? Using an elaborate heist-like plan and high charisma buff? Yeah.

Some Notes:

  • The plot to this movie veers wildly from the original book. In the novel, Artemis holds a fairy for random, demanding a ton of leprechaun gold. Then, almost as an afterthought, he pays half the gold to his captive to cure his mom's insanity.
  • Way too much gravely voice in this one.
  • Available on Disney+.

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